One of the primary issues we face and must deal with in moving [on in our journey of faith] is our insatiable hunger to continue searching for self. It appears so good, so wholesome, so useful we may not even notice it as a lure away from God. There is a necessity to search for self at earlier stages. In this transition, however, we are being asked to be selfless and let go of the search for self, except as it is continually revealed to us by God in the stuff of our lives. It feels like we are asked to give up such a good thing. Yet it is only if we can do this paradoxical thing, give up the search for self to find ourselves in God, that we can find peace.
– Hagberg and Guelich, The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith, p.108-9